Just Another Night in the Jungle

So, this happened about a week ago. A few of my close friends have already heard it told. Now i shall relay it to all the world, unto her unsuspecting glory.

Rarely do i think of making a list and shopping once a week. I usually grab just the essentials per day. This makes my trips to the great land of Walmart frequent, brief, and resolute. After years of this exercise it becomes second nature. It gives my mind time to wander while i search for value-priced, sweat shop treasures.

I got off work and headed over to the lesser Mart (the one where everyone's hair looks wet ALL the time) in search of various items. After i had acquired my late night accoutrement, i proceeded to the counter. There i found a kind, yet feeble night-shift slave who rang me up.

She half smiled and look at me as if I were drinking whiskey from a boot.

"You find everythin' alright?" she asked, almost under her breath.
"Yes, yes I did!" I replied with a large smile, hoping my cheerful demeanor would brighten her dreary tasks.
And with a look of disgust she said, "ok"

We exchanged "Goodnights" and i left, wondering why that encounter seemed so suspect. I plopped down in my car and inspected the contents of my Walmart bag. Inside i found only three items:

12 pack of Michelob Amberbock
1 Large container of non-scented Jergen's hand lotion
Shrek the Third on DVD

I would explain the combined use for these items. But, i think my intentions were pretty clear.
Just another night in the jungle.