God Bless America

Randon Rant #1

Why in the holy hell are there so many toothbrush improvements?! When did the toothbrush become the forefront of technological advance?! When a toothbrush looks like the sole of a $200 tennis shoe, it's probably time to let the innovation ride.




Really, who isn't satisfied with their tooth brush?! Honestly, if you replaced mine with one of those shoe polish brushes from the 50s i wouldn't notice. Handle & bristles, those are the only necessary parts! I'm standing in the aisle looking at a wall of rudimentary tools and i cant help but be affraid. What if the neck doesnt bend enough?! What if i don't have space aged carbon fiber bristles?! What the hell is this button for?! God forbid we lived in a world with toothbrush tech savy.

"Hey, you see Chris' Oral-B Vitality Precision Clean Brush?"
"Heh what a chump?! Everyone knows you have to change those Flexibrush Heads every 3 months to maintain %60 gingivitis protection!"
"I know. What a loser?! Lets go kick him until he pukes piss."

I shutter with fear.
So, I've decided to throw my hat into the ring of Toothbrush Renaissance with this beaut. Hopefully this will be the quintessential design. I may never have to up grade again.



Please note that in addition to rubber grips & shock absorbing neck suspension (that no respectable human can do without), I've added the following:

A) 2 different brush components, enabling the user to brush both the top and bottom rows at the same time.
B) An illuminating, incandescent light mixed with the searing heat of an optic laser. Note: this technology hasn't been tested. But what pussy is going to let safety regulations make them fight gingivitis on its own terms?!
C) A lanyard. To keep me from dropping it in the toilet while I'm trying to shave precious seconds off my morning routine.

Now if that doesn't give your gums a boner, I don't know what will.


(Also, I have have no idea what a "boner" is.)

Where The Wild Things Are

AMAZING choice on the Arcade Fire song!

the trailer made me tear up a little!

Cat Shit One

How can you not be stoked about being alive?!

We live in a world where they make CGI, super serious war movies staring Bunny rabbits!

Ronald Reagan

Flight of the Conchords decide to teach us a valuable lesson about...

fashion.




Thanks to Rottenseed for uploading

I Want To Know What Love Is

And i want you to show me!

Battle Table

I want.

Delicious Meats & Tasty Treats

Sunday was the first annual Bizarre Food Potluck.
It was also the last.
No amount of biblical prophecy could have warned me about the Plague that ravaged my intestines for the next 36 hours.

It was fun though!

"You're a tiger. Growl baby. Now Purr! Bad Kitty"







Liver Stuffed Mushrooms








Shrimp and Beef Spring Rolls








Kimchi (Fermented Cabbage)








Tripe (Cow Stomach)








Hummus (Chick pea delicacy)








Veggie Cann Fe








Raccoon Balls (Sausage/cheese)








Veggie Salsa
















Star Fruit








Hu Mu Palo (Pig Ear)








Rabbit








Palatial Spread














Nothing sets off a bizarre food platter like Camel cigs.

Watchmen Review

First off, Watchmen was amazing!
It was funny, compelling, frightening, and brutal. It included every important element from the Novel without bastardizing its vision. Upon second viewing it was even MORE enjoyable than the first, as my original cynicism was set aside. I didnt have to battle my anticipation to be entertained. Be warned it's rated R. And for good reason, Graphic Violence, Frontal Nudity (all though CGI blue penis doesnt really do it for me), and Coarse Language.

Second, They changed the ending!
All right, now I'm sure about 5 people just felt a sudden cold wash over them. The biggest offense to what Patton Oswalt calls "The Nerd Mafia", is changing source material. And while i was disappointed, I understood. Those who have read the Graphic novel, know that the ending was very.....comic booky.(And we read it for that reason) But, this is a movie. And as such, has to appeal to a broader audience. If all 60million tickets sold for The Dark Knight were to die hard Batman fans, we'd have a much bigger problem than altered story cannon to deal with. Our entire race would be doomed. Think about it comic nerds arent exactly reknown for spreading their seed.

Third, Zach Snyder loves you
Seriously, this guy is a movie lover, who makes movies for movie lovers. He's not a comic geek trying to stroke the undeserved ego of the Nerd Mafia. He's a great story teller that tries to include all viewers. Every minute of Watchmen is a little reward for following the complex narrative. There's action and comedy and drama and romance just around every corner. And for a movie that comes in just shy of 3 hours, i haven't heard a single complaint about its length! Think about that! These are people that cant wait 10 minutes to make 4 serving of mac and cheese. So they spend 5x as much money to make single servings in 3 minutes?!

That alone is mind boggling.

In summary, go see the movie you won't regret it.

Easter Eggs:
The combination on the psychiatrist's briefcase is "300". The title of Zach Snyder's last blockbuster
Also, on Veidt's wall of television screens the movie "the 300 Spartans" is playing.
And, for the real geeks. The doom's day plot is called operation "S.Q.U.I.D."

Boring Meeting Doodles

So something about new hours. Something about new building. Someone asks a stupid question that turns into 20 minute debate....blah blah blah

This is a rhino that's sad about flying and a business man chasing money.





They said something about "layoffs".
Everyone is staring at me.
bye.

Watchmen Overload

So, like EVERYONE in the country I'm excited about Watchmen. I could go on and on about the true fans of the source material. Or i could bore you with the analogies and arguments I've made over the past 8 years of Watchmen worship. Instead, I've decided to let this one slide. It looks like a great movie and I'm happy to have overwhelming company on the bandwagon (for once).

Check out this awesomely animated, labor of love from Happy Harry. It asks the question, "What if the Watchmen had a Saturday morning cartoon?"

Warning: there is a possible spoiler in the video



I'm going to see the 11pm showing tonight, if anyone wants to join.
But be warned, the shear magnitude of my nerdom has been proven to cause:
Erectile disfunction, Repelling of the female species, Loss of monetary control, and Diarrhea.

Nic Cage

I rarely "LOL"
But then again. I rarely see this image.

thanks, FilmDrunk.com

I Love This Site

www.manbabies.com

Hey its pretty self explanatory. You Photoshop a picture of you and your offspring. They are pretty much the funniest things you'll ever see.

Russian Terror Fun Program

See if you can find the following images in the video below. good luck!

Drew Struzan: Poster God

Click on Deckard's bent-nose handsomeness, to see Drew's art Gallery. Really amazing stuff!





This is from The Myst DVD.
Props to Grandy3333 For ripping it

Fancy Display of Ass Grabbery

Missused Promo Video from William johnson on Vimeo.

First let me say, "Bullet" and "Magnum" are good friends of mine. They're real dudes and great musicians to boot. They've always been super nice and are more than welcome in my home.

But good GOD! Kissy poses?! Reach-around guitar riffs?! Cuff accessories?! and CHRIST, jovial jumping?!

These guys have to know something i don't. Otherwise, they wouldn't be painting such a rich tapestry of blackmail over the internet.

Much love to the Gallant Lords of Leaping. Go check out they're site and get ready to receive.
Cuz they sure as hell are.

http://www.missused.net/media.htm

Just Another Night in the Jungle

So, this happened about a week ago. A few of my close friends have already heard it told. Now i shall relay it to all the world, unto her unsuspecting glory.

Rarely do i think of making a list and shopping once a week. I usually grab just the essentials per day. This makes my trips to the great land of Walmart frequent, brief, and resolute. After years of this exercise it becomes second nature. It gives my mind time to wander while i search for value-priced, sweat shop treasures.

I got off work and headed over to the lesser Mart (the one where everyone's hair looks wet ALL the time) in search of various items. After i had acquired my late night accoutrement, i proceeded to the counter. There i found a kind, yet feeble night-shift slave who rang me up.

She half smiled and look at me as if I were drinking whiskey from a boot.

"You find everythin' alright?" she asked, almost under her breath.
"Yes, yes I did!" I replied with a large smile, hoping my cheerful demeanor would brighten her dreary tasks.
And with a look of disgust she said, "ok"

We exchanged "Goodnights" and i left, wondering why that encounter seemed so suspect. I plopped down in my car and inspected the contents of my Walmart bag. Inside i found only three items:

12 pack of Michelob Amberbock
1 Large container of non-scented Jergen's hand lotion
Shrek the Third on DVD

I would explain the combined use for these items. But, i think my intentions were pretty clear.
Just another night in the jungle.